Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Family Dating

This post has been constantly worded and reworded in my mind and I'm still not certain I've said all I need to say on it. It's just such a sensitive, bittersweet topic for me and mine.

Can I just say how much I hate when you make good friends and then life happens and you're seperated? And it's not like those friendships are easily replaceable or that they happened over night. You know which relationships I'm talking about. They're not the ones where the wives get along and the husbands pretend to and the kids bicker back and forth. It's the close relationships that the women love each other and the husbands consider the other someone to help keep them accountable. It's the relationships where your kids call the other adults "aunt and uncle". It's the easy going way you don't care that your house isn't clean or that you can just say that you are in a bad mood and please don't take me seriously today. The friendships where you can just look at each other and know what they are thinking.

I've been blessed to have been given some of these relationships. Although distance has seperated us we still think of those relationships every day. And we know if we were to move next door the relationships could pick up where they left off.

And then there's those relationships where distance doesn't seperate but some dynamic does. It's unexplainable. You put effort into the relationship. You get along with the wife, the husbands get along. The kids have a great time together. You move forward and then something changes and the close friendship that could have/would have been is gone. I used to think it was easy to find friends. And to a point it is. But finding a family that fits into your family so well isn't as easy. And when you've already had those great relationships that you want again, not only for you but for your family, it's hard.

And then God surprises you. People you've been around for a while. Those that you've never thought would have the same interests, the same belief system, the same love of God just walk into your life. And you just hope it's for good.

10 comments:

jenny biz said...

I know exactly what you mean! And can I just say how much I treasure our time that we had together. God was so good to bless me with your friendship!

Stephanie said...

I can totally relate. Sometimes I wish all of us college buddies lived closer that way all of our kids could play together...oh, well. It will happen in 15 years when everyone goes to Harding!

Amber Smith said...

Melanie,
This topic has been on my mind a lot this week. God "surprised" me just yesterday by answering my prayers about this very thing. Also funny, I was just thinking this morning that you and I would be good friends if you lived closer. Now...if I can only think of a way to get Richard to transfer to this area.... :) Have a great day!

Amy said...

I think about these same things frequently. It feels like there is a hole where these families once stood. I think it was easier to make friends before kids came along; life gets so busy now that it takes a lot more effort on both sides to keep a good friendship going. I'm thankful for the internet - makes it easy to keep up with far away friends!
p.s. You've got an award waiting at my blog.

http://amyswandering.wordpress.com/

Danna said...

I agree completely. I read your blog several days ago, however every time I think about your family not being here, I cry. We love ya’ll so much and remember the times when we all lived in Mesquite and how much fun we would have just sitting around talking. We miss you; however, we are so glad that you are happy and thriving in St. Louis. God has blessed our lives by giving us your family. Family has been on my mind the last few months, and I want you to know that you will always be a part of our family, near or far away. We love ya’ll!!!

Scott & Ashley said...

We know just what you mean. Friendships are a precious commodity. I think we realized that in a big way when we moved to the middle of nowhere and the person closest to our age (in the church) is about twenty years older than us. I still think we should build our compound... er, community.

Ang said...

Reading some of the comments you have from some of your fiends is so funny to me, because we have had those same "compound" conversations with some of our friends. I can relate completely.

Richard said...

I love you, babe. Things will get worked out somehow.

Liz Moore said...

I too have experienced both. Losing close friends to a move and losing close friends who live across town and suddendly become distant. It's not easy either way. I have also learned that God puts new friends in my life at just the right time. And we have some friends where we are now, that I would never have met had God not sent me through all of those other things. It's amazing what God can do! We have a group of 4 couples and families that we "hang with" on a weekly basis. And all four of our anniversary dates are literally within like 10 days of each other. We all have so much in common and we have become the best of friends and are even in small group together. God is Good!

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